The blurry white bumps were
distorted, underneath I felt alone and closed off. My heartbeat was loud inside
my ears ringing out, forcing my cheeks outward. I could hear my name being
called in the distance. The footsteps got louder. She was probably right outside.
I couldn't help but think what if I stayed underwater, let all the air
disappear, replaced with water. What would tomorrow be like for the people I
left behind? Sitting up quickly I let the air fill my lungs, burning. My throat
ached for lack of oxygen.
"Bethany!" Her voice was right outside-just as
I assumed.
"Yeah," I tried to relax my voice as I let my
breathing even out.
"Jesus you scared me!" High volume voiced
still. But she remained outside my closed door. I guess I should get out, my hands
were pruned and sitting inside luke warm water. I rolled my eyes not really
ready to face the reality I was trapped in.
"Okay, I'll be okay soon." I waited to move
until I heard her heavy feet move away from my bathroom door. Instead of
getting out I slide down in the water again. Letting my eyes scope out the
surface of the water. Solid, no ripples, it was a clean smooth top with my
whole body hidden underneath. I had a long and wide white oval shaped tube. I
was the pure definition of spoiled. It was only me and my drunken mother. Well
I had Dave, my father but he was always working. Being the top lawyer in
Jackson county took hard work and apparently a lot of time because I sometimes
forgot he had green eyes and blonde hair. He was probably the best looking guy
in our small town which always helped his charm to winning his cases or gave
him a huge advantage. My mom use to think she was a lucky woman, at least I
would like to think that. I don't think I've ever seen her truly smile. I mean
I saw her fake smile at my beauty pageants when I was 10 and during her parties
with all her rich friends pretending to support the needy.
I pushed up body upward again, sitting up in the
bathwater. Drawing my fingers through the water. I rolled my eyes, throwing my
head up. Okay I''m up I'm up. I forced my whole body up this time. Listening to
the extra water drain from my body into the tub. I reached for my tan towel,
fluffy and clean lopped through a silver ring against my pale blue walls.
Pretending to match the sky so I always felt like i was flying while inside the
bathroom. I stepped out onto the plain white rug. Short hairs so it didn't feel
as soft on my feet as the towel did on my body. I quickly tried off, going
through the motions, tying the towel around my breast. My wet, long, auburn
hair hung down my hair. I crossed the room tip toeing on the cool white tile
flooring, stopping flat footed on the other plain white rug in front of the
round lone sink, I pinched my hands around it. Fingertips on the outer rim
leaning deep to get close to the mirror. Smooth effortless skin. Not one mark
on it. Sadly enough it proved well to society but fed to a protected childhood.
Not one moment of a story behind, not like Karen, my lifetime best friend. She
had a small cut above the right side of her lip with another small, deep wound
above her left eye. Her lip was from an adventure on a lake, and her eye was
from playing pretend castle and jumping off someone's deck.
Sadly I was jealous of scars. I had a boring childhood. I
turned and walked through my open bathroom door flooding into my bedroom. My
huge white desk sat to my right containing clutter from school and my Mac.
Continuing around my room there were windows and french doors opening up to my
personal balcony - I used it a lot more when I was younger, now it's only used
in the summer to catch a tan when I'm too lazy to walk downstairs to the pool.
Nothing else is against my wall of windows since there's a step to reach them
on their small platform. On my far wall my king size bed rested in the middle,
two side white tables with matching aqua lamps. I like that they were glass and
when turned on the lights reflected softly throughout my room turning my white
walls baby blue in places, making me feel like I was living under water. The
next wall held my tall white book shelf, full of all kinds of novels; scary,
crime solving, romantic, historic, and mystery. Beside it sat my TV and white
TV stand, which was about as tall as my book shelf and had doors to hide my TV when
it wasn't in use. I never shut them though. The door to the hallway was beside
it, and a black wall sat in the corner (to the left of me while walking out of
my bathroom), it was full of signatures at the moments of all my friends
writing in chalk. When I was bored and feeling artsy I would wash all their
names off and spend the day drawing. That usually only happened during the
summer.
"Bethany?" I hadn't even heard my mother's
footsteps come back, she was still outside my bathroom door from the hallway.
"I'm out," I shouted. "I just didn't open
the doors yet. Still undressed." I don't know why she always checks on me.
I had never tried to drown myself. She always over worried about me. Though I
don't know if it were different when I was younger. I can't remember what she
was like before my younger brother was murdered and that was nine years ago.
"Okay honey. Do you need anything?"
"No, Mom. I'm fine." I stood still until I
heard her back away and move down the hallway a second time. I wondered how
much she had drank today, and how much more she was going to drink. Sometimes I
would wake to her standing over me, the worst is when she found herself in
Jesse's room. My parents left my little brother's room untouched, it was only
cleaned once a week. Mom would touch the door when she walked by it, I barely
notice the door and I walk by it everyday. His room was right beside mine. I remember being young and us making plans to
sneak out at night when we would be walking to bed at 7 p.m. It never happened
seeing how we would be asleep by 8 and our parents didn't go to sleep until 10
or later.
I heard my phone ding. I took a deep breath and moved to
my bed where my phone sat. Gez, 11 text messages and 3 missed calls. Can't even
get some peace during bath time. I didn't even read them before throwing my
phone back on the bed and moved back to my bathroom, turned directly to the
left and walked into my closet. Rows of clothes hanging on all four walls and
an island in the middle with drawers. I head straight to the island pull the
bottom drawer pulling out my panties and start my dressing procedure.
In my bathroom I run a brush quickly through my hair,
lotion m legs, arms, and face. I sling myself on my bed and roll over with my
phone in-between my hands. Starting with my text messages; Karen Listly a
short-brunette, freshman asked what were the chances she'd get Varsity
cheerleading. I shook my head wondering how she even had my number. I gave her
credit so I sent back quickly -5%. Rebecca Jameson a leggy-blonde, senior asked
me to give her a ride because her Lexus was in the shop followed with a hello?
Replying whatever, be ready at 7:35 am, sharp. Brad Dickson my best friend
since 2nd grade after he lost a racing match to me wrote what I nerd I was for
taking all AP classes and not having any with him. I just laughed and told him
sucks to sucks, but I'd like to be a senior as a junior. Of course Lemon Haze,
my beautiful gypsy other best friend wrote test messages as if she were talking
to herself; admitting her cheese was heaven right now, she needed to shower but
wanted to be lazy, asked what I was wearing tomorrow, she'd wear a dress
(shocker), and she was going to wash her hair now, hurry and text back. I wrote
laughing faces, told her I was going to wear my yellow sun dress with brown
rainbows and brown over sleeveless sweater cami. I'm sure she'd ask for a
picture when she was done washing her hair. And lastly a name I'd seen every
day for the past year and a half with hearts and flowered emojis, Jake
Lancastle, my perfect boyfriend- captain of the football team, 3.7 GPA, blue
eyes to melt me into a million pieces and a smile that felt like heaven on my
skin. I smiled as I read his 3 messages; telling me my butt was cute today, I
better be doing something important to not answer his 3 phone calls, and a mad
emoji. I laughed and rolled my eyes. Pressing his name and the call button.
"So?" His voice dipped with questionable honey.
"What do you definite as important?" I laughed
and bit my lower lip. Was it weird I could picture his face, sharp nose, with a
strong jawline, brown hair smoothed back, tan skin, his soft smile and I still
felt butterflies stretching wings all inside my belly and my skin pull for the
glow of happiness wearing thick.
"Anything that makes you happy," yeah I knew I
was in complete love with him. I know I'm young but this was love no lust could
feel this beautiful.
"You make me happy."
"No, princess you make me happiest." His voice
was heavy and full of strong temptation.
"I wish you were here, I'm cold." I felt my
face automatically go into a punt, even though I knew he couldn't see it. I
could feel him smile as his next words flooded my ear.
"Give me 30 minutes and I'll climb your
balcony." He hung the phone up without my confirming yes. He knew me well,
though he should. I rolled off the bed and plugged my phone into the wall
charger by my bed. Laying my phone down, I walked to my balcony doors to open
them. Jake would wake me if I fell asleep. The warm ending summer breeze felt
nice. Georgia had the hottest summers but when the sun fell the moon brought
nice coolness. I walked back to crawl into bed, pushing my heavy comforter off.
My sheets felt nice. I smiled as I waited for Jakes soft, strong arms to
surround me. Making me feel safe in a world I didn't know. With all our towns'
murdering it was hard to ever feel safe. It was getting worse, with at least
one a month now. I felt a slit chill and pulled my thin sheet up to my chin. I
enjoyed my boyfriend protecting me, because my Dad sure wouldn't.
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