Waking in the morning was hardest when Jake had already slipped out. He normally only did that when he hadn't heard my dad leave. I brush my hair and aimlessly think of how today could go. First day to my junior year, classes, cheerleading afterwards, I wonder who will be in my lunch period. Quickly letting my thoughts cover over what I will be needing to do this school year. Maybe I could catch my dad and ask him to volunteer around his office. I want a start to getting into a good college, one far from here. I know having office experience, especially law environment will be a great view on my high school transcripts.
Quickly straightening my long hair, I pour my foundation on, smoothing and covering my flaws. Scooping mascara on my long eye lashes, just a tad nude lip gloss, diving into my closet I grab my destroyed light jeans, pulling them on one leg at a time, my coral silk lace top - over my head, lastly pulling my black tank over lay. I walk into my room and pick up my white book bag I packed last night. Jogging down the hall with a two finger air kiss to Cameron's room. I hit the bottom step and hear my dad moving around in the kitchen.
"Hey Dad," I sling my book bag on the black granite counter tops, turning to the refrigerator.
"Hey Bethany," I grab the orange juice, trying to calmly figure out his tone.
"I have a question, which I don't need an answer now or even today." I pour a glass and look at his soft face. No emotion, just there. He does like hard work maybe he'd like I want to work. I could only hope. I take a quick sip. "I want to volunteer at your office, you know answering phones, filing cases, typing notes, whatever you may need." I turn and put the orange juice away. I hear him shake his newspaper, clearing his throat.
"I don't see why we can't find you something to do, a trail base." His voice was light, the last words even seem humorous. I look up and his lips fold upward into a smile. I catch his tone, I haven't seen his smile in months, though I haven't seen his face in weeks. Finally I would get time with him as well as getting something great to add from colleges.
"Thank you!"
"Of course, I'm glad to see you wanting something more out of life than cheerleading and beauty pageants."
"Dad I haven't done those in years, and cheerleading looks great on my college applications. Just like the Spanish club, Debate team, and the AP classes I take." I could almost roll my eyes at him, but I don't my face just turns into a line again. He did always like to make me feel like I wasn't good enough. I am a girl for pete's sake. Internally my eyes are permanently rolling.
"Right, I'm uh sorry," clearing his throat again. He lets his eyes fall back to his paper.
"Okay well I can stop by tomorrow after school, I have pointless cheerleading today."
"Bethany!" His tone lets me know to stop testing my luck. The door bell rings as I finish my orange juice. Thank heavens is all I can think. "Have a good day." His tone lightens and I know I'm off the hook, for now. I'll have to watch my mouth around him. I'm use to being without a filter. I just nod knowing my words would have a sharper tone than I'd mean. I grab my book bag and head down the hall from the kitchen to the foyer. I grab my keys off the hanging key ring and open our huge dark maguey door. Jake's hair is fluffier than last night. I wonder if he went home and showered to dry it that way. I smile I'm silly thinking of him, his hair is always fluffy. He smiles back at me.
"Good morning gorgeous." He bends down and kisses me.
"Bye!" I shout through the house and close the door behind us. "Good morning handsome, though it would have been better if someone would have stayed all morning."
"Hey, hey. We have discussed before about your dad. Your mom is never up and wouldn't suspect anything- your dad scares me." He laughs and grabs my hand as we walk to my car. "I'm not driving today?"
"No," his feelings look hurt. "I'm sorry I wasn't awake last night when you got there. We have to swing by and get Rebecca. And I don't need her riding in your truck."
"Oh babe- you're so cute when you're jealous."
"I am no such thing." We both laugh. I try to make my face serious quickly though, throwing my hands on my hips.
"You can't stay mad, stop trying." He wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead, making me melt. "No big deal, I'll drive you in your chariot tomorrow." Swinging me around he places my feet on the ground and smacks my butt playfully. I swat him away. Laughing to my driver side door. It's a warm summer morning, I let the windows down and reach over to grab Jake's hand. He pulls it to his lips, my face heats.
"So first day to junior year, what big plans do we have?"
"What ever do you mean, my sweet Bethany?" He smiles and sticks his free hand out into the wind.
"I mean in between classes, dances, sports, and studying."
"Why be utterly happy dear." He leans his head against the head rest as I turn onto Rebecca's street a few miles away from mine. Good thing she is so close to me, though I live on the edge of town. It's quite and lonely out there. I didn't mind it so much anymore, now that I have Jake. But before him I use to think my house was haunted. Maybe my little brother was still walking the halls, but I found some comfort inside thinking of him still near. "Hey are you okay?"
"Oh yeah, sorry I'm great."
"Are you sure? I think I lost you for a few there." He laughs but there's a scarcity behind it.
"I'm just an airheadin' out." I wink at him quickly then facing my eyes back to the road. Softly easing my black Jeep onto Rebecca's curb.
"Okay princess." He sighs and I know he doesn't believe me. I pick up phone up and shoot Rebecca a text. Here. Place my hand on my nose bridge. Even with as perfect as Jake and I feel we still have black secrets we don't let come into the light. How do you know you can trust someone completely? Feelings are wrong, moments and words trick you. Then you open up and give power to a person who may end up being your undoing. It's too hard to give your whole self to a person. It has to be okay, somewhere, some how to keep parts of yourself hidden, right?
"Hi y'all!" Rebecca slings the back door open and yells her cow girl high volume voice inside the whole Jeep. I shut my eyes and smile. She is a beautiful senior, with almost as much money as me. But there is something off about her. As much as she has I have never aspirated to be her. I don't know why, because probably 95% of the girls in our high school and 79% of the surrounding college girls wanted to be her. She is lively, bright, gorgeous, and as this innocent openness about her. She makes me feel young when I'm with her. I know I keep her at a distance because I'm jealous. Jealous she is young and knows not of painful events, well the painful events that dig deep into the bone. Because in reality in high school every day is a painful struggle of just trying to survive the opinions of the sharp tongues of teenagers. I at least go lucky in the not caring aspect.
"Hey Becc!" I cheerfully echo her.
"So did y'all hear about what the police found this morning??" Her tone is always so dramatic.
"No, I didn't turn on the TV this morning."
"You mean we didn't." Her laugh is pure and full. I smile, wondering how many people know about Jake's sleep overs.
"I," correcting her and shooting my eyes in the rearview at her. She quickly turns to serious chatting again.
"Okay so y'all two remember that Ted Rollins who was on trail for raping that 16 year old in the county next door?"
"Yeah Riverbanks county?" Jake is sitting back up. I relax a little knowing he isn't dwelling on my space out.
"His body was found in Woodstock park."
"Wait isn't that where we always do our bonfires?" I innerly shake my head knowing I answer my own question.
"Yes! But that's not why I'm telling y'all! Do y'all get that this counts as 6, count them 6 murders in the last 8 months!" I smile again not at the point of all these murders but because her voice is such a stretch. I feel like I'm watching a movie as I listen to her tell of the news.
"Wow, I didn't know you could count Rebecca."
"Funny Jake but I actually have a 3.7 GPA, shall we discuss yours?"
"Of course because it's a 3.9, with AP classes." He slips his hand underneath mine as it rests on my knee. "Lost again?" Lower voice.
"No, baby never lost with you." I smile and slow my thoughts. Murders always push me into the past. It is a lot more already especially for it only being August. I couldn't help but count number in my head all in Jackson history never had there been so many murders. It all boils down to the year after my little Cameron was murdered. Keith Connors was the first to be murdered - he was released from custody and within 24 hours his body was found in Woodstock park. After that all the high school's bonfires were there. It was a tradition to prove this was our county and no one could take it no matter the tragedies.
"Well I'm sure the crime scene will be cleaned up before next week."
"Did they mention a suspect?" Jake's tone is serious while his face tries to remain steady. It makes me uncomfortable, I shift in my seat and he tightens his grip on my hand.
"No, but they did mention the body they found almost a decade ago in the same park. Oh Bethany they mention your grandfather." For the first time Rebecca lost all the drama in her tone.
"What does it say?" I knew this would come up sooner or later. My grandfather was the wealthiest man on this town with my little brother was murdered. It was a shock the known suspect wasn't apprehended. But he wasn't, to this day I think our whole family thinks the justice system was paid off from someone on the outside of this county. Nothing was ever proven and when Keith turned up dead fingers of course pointed my families direction. I was too young to ever be included in the conversations but growing up I've head wild tails. My grandfather died later that year of cancer, he never went to trail. In the eyes of the law no one ever paid for Keith's death, in this county my grandfather did. However I feel like no one could have given two shits about him being gone.
"I think you should read it,"
"Well I'm driving so I can't!" I can't keep the anger out of my voice. I'm not mad with her, I don't think. I'm just pissed at the town and its gossip almost 10 years and people can't pick another subject.
"Babe just chill and wait until you park." He rubs his thumb across the back of my hand. I try to relax, but it's hard when you're thinking of the worst.
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